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Dare We Ask about the “New Anal”?

Girl wielding pen: Sometimes I want to write on your face.Guy: That’s okay. Sometimes I want to cum on your face.Girl: Yeah, I know you do. I saw your porn collection.Guy: So sue me. But look, I’m not...

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We Have Special Clubs for That

30-something fag hag: I mean, cum is a fine substance. In small quantities it can even be kind of pleasant. But you wouldn’t want a bucket of it. Queer: Speak for yourself. –Miracle Grill Overheard by:...

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What the Inventors of Nickelodeon Gak Were Going For

Girl #1: Is that cum? Girl #2: Yes, green cum. –W 47th & 5th Overheard by: Holly... Source

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And Was Barred from Future Proceedings

Charmer #1: I took part in my first bukkake last night. Charmer #2: Was it great? Charmer #1: No, I missed her eye. Source

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Sweet or Salty?

Queer #1: I sucked you off and swallowed your cum! Queer #2: Shh, not now, someone will hear. Queer #1: No! No one is listening! Girl next to them: Actually, I’m listening. –3 Train Overheard by:...

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High-Motility Wednesday One-Liners

Professor: Skeet is when a man pulls out of the vagina or anus and has an orgasm on the man or woman. It’s also come to refer to the ejaculate itself. –NYU classroom Woman on cell: Nice. I just...

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Wednesday One-Liners Kinda Miss Bush’s Speeches

President: Are they de-seminating the office?…I mean decimating? –40th & Madison Ave Overheard by: EScrillz Girl reading poster: The fastest… (pause) “fastest.” Is that a word? –42nd St AMC Theatre...

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There Must Be a Cum-Smelling Person Following Me Around

Preppy girl #1: Is it just me, or does it smell like cum? Preppy girl #2: Yeah, I guess… Preppy girl #1: Good, I’ve been smelling it all day. Source

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Speaking of Which: Drinking out of Toilets? Fabulous.

Chick #1: … I don’t know… Chick #2: Trust me — he wants it, but he’ll never ask. You do it by surprise, and he’ll, like, cum all over you. Chick #1: It just seems nasty. Chick #2: Yeah, it’s nasty —...

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A Feminist Critique Of Wednesday One-Liners

Chick: Was she a gymnast, or a feminist? –Café, 113th & Amsterdam Overheard by: Ladle Anthropology professor: Everyone’s a misogynist. Women attend seminars, “seminar” comes from the word “semen,”...

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