Wednesday Two-Become-One Liners
Girl on cell: You're like the male version of me! Of course I want to have sex with you!–Washington Square ParkGirl: I don't give a shit about your personal life, will anyone in this bar have goddamn...
View ArticleA Few Sucky Wednesday One-Liners
Brunette woman yelling on cell: Look, I'm 24 fucking years old. If I want to suck dick all day, that's my business!–BrooklynOverheard by: Blank SlaterGirl on cell: First you go, "accckkk… accckkkk"...
View ArticleA Feminist Critique Of Wednesday One-Liners
Chick: Was she a gymnast, or a feminist?–Café, 113th & AmsterdamOverheard by: LadleAnthropology professor: Everyone's a misogynist. Women attend seminars, "seminar" comes from the word "semen,"...
View ArticleWednesday One-Liners with a Reservoir Tip
Girl on cell: I don't need anything else. I've got 20 dollars, my phone, and a condom.–11th & 3rd AveOverheard by: AlexFlamboyant boy on cell: Wait, where are you? What are you doing? Please tell...
View ArticleSemen, Mostly.
Woman, seriously: I've had a lot spilled on me.Man, equally seriously: I've spilled a lot on myself.–Astoria
View ArticleSome Countries Blame the Juice for Everything
Tall, gay, black guy: Girl, I learned a lot watching that movie. There's a lot of sexism in Sweden.White female friend: Who knew? You'd think they'd be more advanced.Tall, gay, black guy: And...
View ArticleIt Was a Two-Xanax Climax
Black guy: So was he fun last night? White girl: He came so much that it made me nervous. Black guy: No more freshman for you!–Outside Parsons The New School for Design
View ArticleLike When Newter Gingrich Rants About Gay Marriage
Man in hard hat: My dog Sparky is still in the hospital. The doctor wants to neuter him.Polite, uncomfortable woman: Really, that is too bad… Has he fathered puppies before?Man in hard hat: No. But I...
View ArticleYeah, Well You Look Like Lynn from Real Housewives Of OC!
Eight-year-old boy #1: You look like an old person!Eight-year-old boy #2: I have a good one: you look like dried cum!–Grand Army PlazaOverheard by: Eric Arevalo
View ArticleThe Teachings Of Wednesday One-Liners
Professor: I have nothing against horse rapists, generally speaking.–New School UniversityOverheard by: Evan GilmerPsychology professor: Chocolate may make you feel good, but cocaine will make you feel...
View ArticleHow Many Lines Are in a Wednesday One-Liner?
Woman stopping passersby: Do you know the Chinese restaurant on either 8th or 9th? (points at buildings on 14th Street)–14th St & b/w 7th & 8th AveGirl to another: What is jizz?–NYU Freshman...
View ArticleAnd Sometimes Pre-Mustard
Film professor: What kind of movie causes a bodily reaction?Student:… Pornography?Film professor: And what does pornography cause your body to produce?Student, after long pause: Bodily… fluids?Film...
View ArticleWednesday One-Liners. (And by That We Mean Exactly What You Think We Mean.)
Hipster to friend having problems with ATM card: Maybe it's for normal people and you're just abnormally large.–Village ATMOverheard by: rafaOverenthusiastic father of new skater: Oh, you know, it's...
View ArticleWednesday One-liners Face It
Dude: Well, the other day she said, “I want you to fuck me in the park.” So we went to the park, went behind some bushes where there was a clearing and bam, bam, bam. Then I came on her face. –116th...
View ArticleWednesday One-Liner Often Wonder How It Started To Be Spelled That Way
Girl: …well it stopped working 'cause it got cum in it.–W 27th StChick: I'm starving. The only protein I've had all day is an accidental cum shot to the face earlier this morning.–SoHoGuy to friends:...
View ArticleLike Semen Dialysis?
Guy #1, shocked, and loud: Wow, so it fills your whole body with sperm?!Guy #2, pondering: You know, I’m not quite sure how it works.–Penn StationOverheard by: Pt Photo
View ArticleThe Gospel According to Johanna
Preppy girl: He was nice — really successful, owns his own apartment… I just wasn’t into him. He kept trying to hook up and I just wanted to be left alone. He proceeded to jerk off into his pajama...
View ArticleThat One’s Boring — Tell the Donkey-Punch Story Again!
Small child, trying a Sprite: I don’t like it.Dad: If you don’t like the taste, just spit it out.Mom: I’ve heard that one before.–33rd & 7thOverheard by: Brian Flanagan
View ArticleSome Secrets Are Just in Bad Taste
Hipster: I have to confess a deep dark secret to you.Girl: Okay?Hipster: I know the taste of my own cum.–Union Square
View ArticleWho Else Here Misses 'Boy Meets World'?
Teenage girl: Do you want to come?Teenage boy: I want to come in your mouth.–Broadway & 14th StOverheard by: caseyHeadline by: PostteenRunners-Up:· “A Young Christina Aguilera Gets Inspired” –...
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