…but Yes
Kinky girl: Have you ever thought about tasting your own cum?Other girl: Are you fucking serious? We're in Times Square right now. Twenty people probably heard that.–Times SquareOverheard by: No thank...
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Husband: What’s that white stuff on your pants?Wife, with three-year-old kid: It’s cum.Husband: What’s your fucking problem?–10th & 5thOverheard by: NYU Student
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Man on cell, inaudible at first: … Whale sperm.Business chick: Did you just say ‘whale sperm’?Man, to chick: Yeah.Business chick: Perfect!Man, into cell: Great. I’ll be there in two minutes.–55 Water...
View ArticleWednesday One-Liners Are Coming to Dinner
Guy on cell: I eat ass like a champion.–Havemeyer & S 1st St, WilliamsburgOverheard by: EAScary old guy to pretty woman: Oooh, girl, you look so fine. Tell your husband I want to bite your kneecaps...
View ArticleSometimes, Wednesday One-Liners Are Tough to Swallow
Girl on cell: Five hours later, I was still pulling cum out of my hair!–13th StOverheard by: questioning the physicsDrunk girl to drunk guy: I would love to be 5'8", I mean…it's like not tall…but like...
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Blonde girl, looking up at bridge: The Brooklyn Bridge can blow me.Brown haired girl: Ugh! Word!–South StreetOverheard by: how does that work?
View ArticleThat's How Much I Respect Her.
Old lady to husband: I heard Britney wants to adopt some pets instead taking care of her children.Husband: They should just leave her alone.Old lady to husband: Now you are defending her?Husband: Not...
View ArticleWednesday One-Liners Graduate Magna Cum Laude
Young man: I think I hurt my throat when impersonating Mark having an orgasm.–Washington Square ParkOverheard by: Harmony DavisOlder queer to boyfriend: Uh! Uh! I'm gonna cum! I'm gonna cum! I have to...
View ArticleWednesday Two-Become-One Liners
Girl on cell: You're like the male version of me! Of course I want to have sex with you!–Washington Square ParkGirl: I don't give a shit about your personal life, will anyone in this bar have goddamn...
View ArticleWednesday One-Liners: Great for Your Complexion
Hot chick on cell: Important question: Which is more painful, cum in your eye, or Caesar salad dressing in your eye?–Columbia UniversityOverheard by: LadleDude on cell: … Because I’m a pastry chef, and...
View ArticleLike When Newter Gingrich Rants About Gay Marriage
Man in hard hat: My dog Sparky is still in the hospital. The doctor wants to neuter him.Polite, uncomfortable woman: Really, that is too bad… Has he fathered puppies before?Man in hard hat: No. But I...
View ArticleWednesday One-liners Excreta
Guy: Baby, I gotta piss, shit…barf, burp, sneeze, all that crap. –Astroland Punk girl: Oh my God. If I see Jorge I’m going to poop my pants. –Randall’s Island Overheard by: Holly Kaye Woman: Do you...
View ArticleWednesday One-Liners Prefer to Think of It As “Well-Traveled”
Hipster guy to hipster chick: …and he's like, "I didn't come; why is there so much come all over?" And she's like, "Oh, you're number 23." So he's like, "Oh, okay." And he starts pounding away...
View Article…Throw in Anal and We Could Probably Fingerpaint.
Guy (kissing his girl's neck, begging): C'mon baby, please?Girl: I said “No.”Guy: Why not?Girl: Because it gets too messy. I mean, I already have to keep washing all the pillows you cum on. Imagine the...
View Article…but Yes
Kinky girl: Have you ever thought about tasting your own cum?Other girl: Are you fucking serious? We're in Times Square right now. Twenty people probably heard that.–Times SquareOverheard by: No thank...
View ArticleSweet or Salty?
Queer #1: I sucked you off and swallowed your cum!Queer #2: Shh, not now, someone will hear.Queer #1: No! No one is listening!Girl next to them: Actually, I'm listening.–3 TrainOverheard by: Carly
View ArticleJimmies Give It That Great Flavor
Guy #1: Have you ever had Tasti D-lite? It’s disgusting! It tastes like frozen cum. Guy #2: Well, it’s not that good. –7th & Christopher Overheard by: Gordon
View ArticleStill More Natural Than God’s Body and Blood
Catholic girl #1: It’s a little more natural to have jizz in your mouth instead of pee. Catholic girl #2: But the jizz has shit in it! –Bryant Park
View ArticleSo Which Came First, Then?
Girl #1: So my boyfriend brought me crown fried chicken for dinner the other night.Girl #2: Oh, yeah?Girl #3: I heard they cum in it.–Queens College
View ArticleLet's Make Some Coffee–These Negotiations Could Take All Night.
Cute blonde: I like fucking you. No, I love fucking you.Buff guy: Yeah.Cute blonde: But if I suck your dick and you cum, you'll fall asleep.Buff guy: How about you suck my dick and then I fuck you?Cute...
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