Hot chick on cell: Important question: Which is more painful, cum in your eye, or Caesar salad dressing in your eye?
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Ladle
Dude on cell: … Because I’m a pastry chef, and my semen tastes like ice cream.
–Soho
Ghetto girl on cell: So he said to me, ‘Suck my cum for five dollars,’ and I was like…
–St. Mark’s & Broadway
Overheard by: Stilettofem
Chick: I have no agreements for future procurement of sperm.
–Harlem
Overheard by: Meister
Hipster chick on cell: Why were you and Voldemort sharing sperm?
–140th & Broadway
Overheard by: Ladle
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Wednesday One-Liners: Great for Your Complexion
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