Wednesday Really Pumps Out the One-Liners
Guy to female friend: There's a guy in the Howard Street festival that ejaculates like 20 feet. –E 3rd St & 1st Ave Guy: The world is my cumrag! –4th St & 6th Ave Overheard by: Jordan Bruce...
View ArticleSometimes “Rim Job” Headlines Just Write Themselves
Preppy guy: What's that stuff around the rim of your martini glass?Trendy girl: Uh…I dunno, it looks like cum.Preppy guy: Uh… can I get a lick? –Restaurant, St. Mark's Place Overheard by: Eliza
View ArticleShe Said It Was Gagalicious
College kid #1: So basically I didn’t jerk off for a week so I could bust a huge load in her mouth. Have you ever done that?College kid #2: Yeah, but never purposefully. –Houston & Ave of Americas
View ArticleWednesday One-Liners Live on a Steady Diet of Government Cheese
Guy: I'm tellin' you, man. America loves cheese. No, seriously, dude. America loves cheese! –Ace's, 5th St & Ave B Cute 20-something guy singing while playing soccer: Bottles of cheese, bottles of...
View ArticleSpeaking of Which: Drinking out of Toilets? Fabulous.
Chick #1: … I don’t know…Chick #2: Trust me — he wants it, but he’ll never ask. You do it by surprise, and he’ll, like, cum all over you.Chick #1: It just seems nasty.Chick #2: Yeah, it’s nasty —...
View ArticleI Didn't Know I Was Wednesday One-Linered
Smoking man to another: I've heard being pregnant is really bad for your health. –Columbia University Overheard by: CS Large black woman: An' I been tellin' him I got all these ideas for t-shirts… Like...
View ArticleA Few Sucky Wednesday One-Liners
Brunette woman yelling on cell: Look, I'm 24 fucking years old. If I want to suck dick all day, that's my business! –Brooklyn Overheard by: Blank Slater Girl on cell: First you go, "accckkk… accckkkk"...
View ArticleThe Au Jus Of Wednesday One-Liners
11 year-old boy throwing water balloon back and forth: It’s like a hymen, perfectly intact after a minor rape! (balloon is thrown to him and bursts all over him) Oh, sweet hymen juices! –Tompkins...
View ArticleDare We Ask about the “New Anal”?
Girl wielding pen: Sometimes I want to write on your face.Guy: That’s okay. Sometimes I want to cum on your face.Girl: Yeah, I know you do. I saw your porn collection.Guy: So sue me. But look, I’m not...
View ArticleWe Have Special Clubs for That
30-something fag hag: I mean, cum is a fine substance. In small quantities it can even be kind of pleasant. But you wouldn’t want a bucket of it. Queer: Speak for yourself. –Miracle Grill Overheard by:...
View ArticleWhat the Inventors of Nickelodeon Gak Were Going For
Girl #1: Is that cum? Girl #2: Yes, green cum. –W 47th & 5th Overheard by: Holly... Source
View ArticleAnd Was Barred from Future Proceedings
Charmer #1: I took part in my first bukkake last night. Charmer #2: Was it great? Charmer #1: No, I missed her eye. Source
View ArticleSweet or Salty?
Queer #1: I sucked you off and swallowed your cum! Queer #2: Shh, not now, someone will hear. Queer #1: No! No one is listening! Girl next to them: Actually, I’m listening. –3 Train Overheard by:...
View ArticleHigh-Motility Wednesday One-Liners
Professor: Skeet is when a man pulls out of the vagina or anus and has an orgasm on the man or woman. It’s also come to refer to the ejaculate itself. –NYU classroom Woman on cell: Nice. I just...
View ArticleWednesday One-Liners Kinda Miss Bush’s Speeches
President: Are they de-seminating the office?…I mean decimating? –40th & Madison Ave Overheard by: EScrillz Girl reading poster: The fastest… (pause) “fastest.” Is that a word? –42nd St AMC Theatre...
View ArticleThere Must Be a Cum-Smelling Person Following Me Around
Preppy girl #1: Is it just me, or does it smell like cum? Preppy girl #2: Yeah, I guess… Preppy girl #1: Good, I’ve been smelling it all day. Source
View ArticleSpeaking of Which: Drinking out of Toilets? Fabulous.
Chick #1: … I don’t know… Chick #2: Trust me — he wants it, but he’ll never ask. You do it by surprise, and he’ll, like, cum all over you. Chick #1: It just seems nasty. Chick #2: Yeah, it’s nasty —...
View ArticleA Feminist Critique Of Wednesday One-Liners
Chick: Was she a gymnast, or a feminist? –Café, 113th & Amsterdam Overheard by: Ladle Anthropology professor: Everyone’s a misogynist. Women attend seminars, “seminar” comes from the word “semen,”...
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